. . . You Might Be an EMS Patient

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The other day, I wrote about the conundrum faced by my friend, Justin Schorr, the Happy Medic when he had to define what a patient is to his leadership in San Francisco EMS. Read my previous article on definition of a patient.

Since then, I realized that it’s not only us who are confused. Our patients are confused about whether they are a patient or not.

In a nod to the great comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, I give you my list of ways you can help pick out the patients from the non patients while working as an EMT or Paramedic in the field.  Feel free to add your own in the comments to this post below.  Maybe I’ll share them in a future video installment here at MedicCast TV.

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You Might Be A Patient If . . .

• If you have ever refused to go to the hospital after your children called 911 because you didn’t want to inconvenience anyone – you might be a patient.
• If your drug dealer cut your heroin with something “really rad” and you just stopped breathing – you might be a patient.
• If your best friend just dared you to ride your bike off the roof of the garage and you did it – you might be a patient.
• If your cell phone is ringing and you can’t answer it because you just blew your hands off with an illegal firework – you might be a patient.
• If you just set fire to your face because you had to have a smoke while on oxygen for your emphysema – you might be a patient.
• If you can scratch parts of your back you’ve never been able to reach before after riding your skate board – you might be a patient.
• If you’ve been out in a thunderstorm and you can’t let go of your golf club because it’s fused to your hand – you might be a patient.
• If the paramedic in front of you knows your last four days of blood sugar readings better than you do – you might be a patient.
• If your five day bout of indigestion gets even worse after 5 hours of yard work without a break – you might be a patient.
• If you just stocked up on pharmacy’s remaining supply of diet pills just recalled by the FDA for “supposedly” harmful side effects like “black, tarry stools” and “explosive flatulence” – you might be a patient.

Share Your “Patient Moments”

Have your own “. . . you might be a patient” sayings, record them yourself and tag them on YouTube with MedicCast or leave them as a comment below.

You can also email them to me here at podmedic@mac.com.

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